put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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