We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
