hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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