Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
