WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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