Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
