Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
