The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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