Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
