Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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