Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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