I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
