Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm sobbing to NWA
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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