Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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