I think i peed on brittanys purse
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize