i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
