I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
