his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
im holly from the hills drunk
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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