btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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