Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
