You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
