Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
