I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
