At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
