It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
