dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
