my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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