She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
