I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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