your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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