I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
