I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
