your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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