I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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