Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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