brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
