fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
