as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
