Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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