And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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