He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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