so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
