Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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