You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
