You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
