I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
