Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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