why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
