If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
