There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize
