READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
