the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
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