that's an acceptable place to lick
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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