is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
