You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
