You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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