Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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