People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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