It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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