I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
