guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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