youre lurking in front of me
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
the day after is always just damage control
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
