I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm bleeding and have questions
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
