i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
