my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
