Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
How external is "for external use only"?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
