I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
