I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
