Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
